Stop, Drop and Roll :: December 2007

By Andrew Burnham - December 18, 2007

Product Resouces

The Miracle of Mindfulness

Many of you are well into the holiday season and facing its particular demands and stressors. There are people rushing about, last minute tasks at work to close off and our family likely to push our buttons. Here is a simple three step process to keeping your cool.

I recently coached a client in Mind Tools for Self Management. She found herself continually upset and agitated when facing customers who were rude and otherwise behaving badly. She spent her energy and time dwelling on why these people should be different, should not be the way they are, agitated, upset, and rude. “Really, don’t these people know they should have more control!”

Focus on Reality

Of course people ‘should’ be different. But this is not what is happening. Think of that for a moment. How often do you focus on what is not happening instead on what is happening? Isn’t this a little crazy? How can you be effective if you are focusing on what is not reality? Your dog is not a cat; does that upset you? You shouldn’t be angry, you tell yourself. But you clearly are agitated. So how do you get over that and move on?

Grasping at Unreality

My client was grasping very tightly at an illusion, like we all do. The illusion goes something like this: Until these people change, I will be upset because being upset will surely change the situation. Nobody talks like this but many of us act like this. She was waiting for these people to be something different; hoping for a different reality. Can you see how this is unproductive? Can you see how this is wasting her time and energy?



What could she and we do? Here is a three step general approach to handling the inevitable button-pushing at work, over the holidays and wherever and whenever it happens for you.

Stop

When you find yourself agitated, stressed or when your buttons are pushed just stop and be with whatever is happening, inside and outside of you. Stay with that, be with it. You want to be a ‘with it’ person don’t you? Maybe you’re a leader or in a position of power and you can’t afford not to be with it. Maybe you just want to survive the holidays.