Leaders Take Real Control & Watch the Change :: January 2007
By Andrew Burnham - January 04, 2007
The Problem is not "Out There"
We sometimes erroneously think that it is the other person or the situation that is responsible for our stress. Our focus is not on the real problem. Thinking in this way puts everyone and everything else in control, paves the way for problems to recur again and again, and leaves us floundering when we can least afford it.
Being Response-able
Being responsible begins with developing an awareness of what our attention is directed to. This is being in the moment and it’s the most practical place to be. When we are in the moment we are "response-able".
Take Action or Take Attention Away
Take constructive action right here and now to change the situation or person if this is possible. There is no agitation or stress in this approach. Is something bothering you right now? What can you do about it? If there is nothing that can be done right now, in this very moment, then what is the value of continuing to focus on it?
Where is the Problem?
If we can control or change the other person or situation, then that is where our focus would be right now. Where is the problem now? If we can do something constructive then that is what we are doing in the moment. As we start to learn how to process our work and our interactions with others in this way, what we can control on the outside also increases.
Be Vigilant, Be Aware
When our buttons are pushed, our reactions usually occur with lightning speed. Being in the moment creates space between the outside and event and our reaction to it. Cultivating this awareness is the key to trading our self defeating reactions into authentic responses. We respect and trust leaders who are authentic.
Quick Change
Once we become aware that we have just picked up a searing hot pan we put it down. That is what awareness is like. And once we realize that we can trade our reactions in for responses, dealing with difficult people or situations is no longer a problem and change is easy. We don’t pick up the hot pan any more.
