Stop, Drop and Roll :: December 2007
By Andrew Burnham - December 18, 2007
Awareness
Be aware of what is going on right now; your internal state of affairs. Are you angry? What are you saying to yourself? Knowing the answers makes you the master and in a way is the only thing you need to do. You might be surprised at how fast solutions occur to you, but whether or not they happen is secondary because as far as your calmness, sanity and effectiveness are concerned, you are not reacting anymore.
Not Suppression, Not Acting out
This does not mean you suppress your initial agitation or stress. By being aware of it, you let it pass through you and it has no more power over your subsequent actions. You can now decide to act or not, and this is your choice. This is the power of being in the moment as you neither suppress nor immediately act out. You neither become passive-aggressive, despondent, nor say or do something you’ll soon regret.
Breathe before you Blow Up
Reserve some of your awareness for what you are focusing on. Take a moment to centre yourself and breathe just before responding to situations where you’ve blown up or have become negative in the past like family holiday situations, mall mayhem or being behind the wheel. In the beginning you will have to remind yourself to be aware and this feels artificial, this is normal and true for anything new. Soon this will be a very effective habit that you no longer think about or ‘do’, like walking.
Drop
Drop the internal dialogue that amounts to dwelling without there being a true intention or possibility of taking action now. Ask: What is changing or likely to change as a result of my thinking? Is this thinking beneficial? Maybe you can change your Uncle. Is that a possibility? Is this your intention or are you just letting him get to you?
Work to Change or Accept
When you put your attention on certain things, like how others should be different you become more agitated and still people and situations do not change. Get over this first and you’ll be in a better position to change the situation or just accept how someone is right now and how you feel about it. Is there something constructive to do right now? Do that, otherwise relax.
